


Yamaguchi's fake boyfriend gig

by tothemovies (jayjem_jam)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Post Timeskip, are you really friends if you haven't played fake boyfriend to your gay friend before, karasuno first years chaotically bonding, no this is pretty canon, was going to call it canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25779697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayjem_jam/pseuds/tothemovies
Summary: "You must be the one making our King uncomfortable," he states. It is an accusation."That's not very nice of you," Shouyou frowns, which is doubly effective, as the Fan cowers in on himself. "Tobio doesn't have to prove anything to you.""No he doesn't," Tadashi agrees. "Which is why we are giving you the option of walking away before further consequences and humiliation follow beyond this warning. Take a pick, my friend."
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	Yamaguchi's fake boyfriend gig

**Author's Note:**

> yes i'm back at it with more karasuno first years content and no, I will not shut up about them. was this shippy? possibly. but direct your eyes mostly on the fact that true friendship is just you and your other two volleyball friends all preparing to be your third volleyball friend's boyfriends because a fan who can't leave your friend alone said 'homosexuality is a joke' and you all said 'well i'm about to be fucking hilarious, buddy'

Kageyama -  _ Tobio  _ \- approached Tadashi first. Evidently that should have been the first red flag, but Tadashi was overcome with joy and pride at his little Tobio, spreading his wings and learning to be a team player, that he immediately blanked out on the more important self-preservation instincts he cultivated over too many years spent in proximity of Tobio.  _ Tobio!  _ His brain had flared up and had not shut up ever since.  _ Ah fuck,  _ comes the realisation after Tobio finished his recap and request.

Because this is Kageyama Tobio and literally nothing mundane happens to him at any given point in time, Tadashi isn't surprised, just disappointed that he was surprised and that he said yes to helping so easily. 

The story runs like this - a zealous fan bravely and quite rudely, asked Tobio about his ideal type, as if he has the right to know about information like that. Tobio, panicking, started describing a male physique. While not a crime in itself, this jilted the mostly perceived heterosexual world of volleyball a few degrees into homosexual land, but not quite too much that the entire V-League is submerged in the dreary queer world. The fan was enraged and frankly suspicious of Tobio's alleged type. Tobio, literal disaster, claimed that he has a boyfriend. Honestly at that point, Tadashi isn't surprised the poor guy is saying anything at all. The fan was unconvinced, since outside of his homoerotic rivalry with Shouyou, there is nobody else that he interacts with. Literally nobody else. This friend needs a fake boyfriend to throw off the fan, stat. 

Tobio could have gone to his teammates - co-workers, he claimed - to ask for help, but the premise of having coworkers is that they will not entangle themselves in weird fake dating requests between one another. Tadashi himself had built up a brand for  _ I will ask no questions  _ with regard to all requests flowing his way. He's happy to help when he can. No he will not be asking questions. Tobio and Tadashi, they bonded over captaining the hellish circus act that was Karasuno Volleyball Club. Tadashi can help Tobio out. 

It is a little flattering though, now that Tadashi has a bit more time to process it through. Kageyama Tobio, Division 1 V-League professional volleyball athlete, teen Olympian, beloved superstar of many and sweetheart to the rest, asked him,  _ him,  _ Yamaguchi Tadashi, a good friend, but a nonetheless no-name guy, to play pretend boyfriend to all that. Surely the universe must be conspiring something against his favour to pitch this into reality. They might have grown up together, admittedly, it's a decade since they've known each other and inevitably became friends. They know each other. Tobio has shit handwriting and the table manners of a dumpster rat whenever he raids Tadashi's place. He's an attractive brat, for sure, but he's Tadashi's Tobio and they have done a whole lot of shit together and for each other. What's another favour?

"Sorry I'm late," Tobio's voice accompanies the smooth slide of the rest of him as his beautiful superstar face comes up really close to Tadashi's own. Okay. Wow. 

"Got mobbed outside by loving fans?" He asks, only half curious. Tobio shrugs his jacket off, an expensive watch glinting from a wrist, as he flags down someone coming from yonder. Ah. This must be the Fan. Tadashi himself prepares, but also turns to shoot a quick text for reinforcement. He didn't come alone to deal with what obviously requires team effort.

"Something like that," Tobio grunts as the fan, an older man, approaches the table. Immediately he looks distrustful of Tadashi, which is a little insulting, since he has a trustful face. The Fan whirls to Tobio right away, as if to call him out, but shutting up immediately when Tobio reaches over to squeeze Tadashi's hand briefly.

"Would you like to sit?" Tadashi offers, because he can be the bigger person here. He doesn't actually want to offer a seat, but Tobio is obviously uncomfortable and Tadashi winks at him familiarly, before turning to deal with this… situation. The Fan zeroes in on the space near Tobio's empty bench, makes his way to it, but not before being overtaken by a blur of trench coat and gold bomber jacket on two pro volleyball players striding right at their table and settling in.

Shouyou beams, bright and beautiful and perfectly on time. "Hey, sorry we're late."

"That's Hinata for  _ sorry my fans mobbed me outside,"  _ Kei scoffs, even as he drops a hello kiss onto Tadashi's forehead and bats Shouyou's grabby hands away. "No, hang off his highness over there."

The Fan, who obviously wasn't expecting the addition of these two, stands, gaping and in shock. To Tobio's credit, he recovers remarkably well, grumbling about how time is just relative to foreigners (Shouyou) and some people need to keep better time (Kei). Shouyou laughs and nuzzles into the underside of Tobio's chin. Kei rolls his eyes fondly, joining into the handholding in the middle of the table before turning to the Fan, gaze cool and gold.

"You must be the one making our King uncomfortable," he states. It is an accusation.

"That's not very nice of you," Shouyou frowns, which is doubly effective, as the Fan cowers in on himself. "Tobio doesn't have to prove anything to you."

"No he doesn't," Tadashi agrees. "Which is why we are giving you the option of walking away before further consequences and humiliation follow beyond this warning. Take a pick, my friend."

The old passive aggressive captainly habits are hard to break. Shouyou claps and swoons at his threats and Kei smirks, The Fan beating a hasty retreat as Tobio breathes a sigh of relief as Kei and Shouyou tear into him. Tadashi is typing, one handed, a mission report to Hitoka. She'll tear Tobio a new one after these two.

"I wonder what he'll say to the press after this?" Shouyou wonders, tucked under Kei's arm who put up a truly feeble and performative fight to ward him off. "I hope it's nothing too negative to you, Kageyama."

"It's not the first time dating scandals have my name on them so," Tobio shrugs. "Could be worse."

"I for once will offer glowing reviews of your performance as my boyfriend," Kei gallantly offers. 

"What an honour," Tobio replies, just as dry as Kei had proffered it. Kei swipes at his arm, jostling Shouyou between them, as Tadashi calls for them to act like adults.

  
  


"Tadashi," Tobio later shows up at his work and he screams, dropping from his ladder. Tobio with his strong volleyball muscles catches him easily in his arms, looks at Tadashi in his hold and lets him down on his feet.

"Tobio-kun," Tadashi closes his eyes. "Why are you here."

"I was in the area," Tobio claims, like a liar. It feels like payback, for springing the Trouble Two onto him last minute on their fake date. "Thought I came by to say hi."

"Very cute of you," Tadashi smiles a smile without teeth. "I'll walk you out."

"Already?"

"Yes, Tobio, already."

  
  


"You are such a child," Tadashi laughs as he puts a hand on the dip of Tobio's lower back, the space allegedly only reserved for the bros. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll grab the food, tell Hitoka I have her jacket," Tobio pulls on a cap and grazes fingertips under Tadashi's ears and the side of his neck. "Be safe at work."

"You be good."

"I will!"

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hozukitofu) and [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jenny_benny)! i have a writing [twitter](https://twitter.com/jayjem_jam) if anyone is interested in more bs or we can just vibe in the void together


End file.
